This is the first Sunday in a long time that I haven’t gotten drunk.

Last weekend, I drank two bottles of cava and made a pie.

I overbooze when I’m happy. Or when I want to be happy.

For me, the difference between drinking to be happy and drinking to make the pain go away is that there’s a little grain of hope when you want to be happy. I may not feel good right now, but there’s a possibility.

So, sometimes I overdo it because when I want to be happy, feeling just okay isn’t going to cut it. I want to be deliriously in love with life happy. Sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows happy.

Anyone who’s ever been in my position knows that there’s a pretty sharp slope on the downhill though. I’m opting out today.

I don’t actually like being drunk as much as I love the ritual of drinking. Especially in quarantine! It breaks up the day and makes life exciting (sort of…) for a little while.

Here’s what gives me those good “I’m drinking! Woo!” vibes when I’m mellowing out on booze:

  • Non-alcoholic beer. I love this stuff! Especially the kind that comes in craft beer style cans. Can’t tell it from the regular high octane craft beer.

  • LaCroix. I. really enjoy cracking open a cold one. I don’t really care what’s in the can.

  • Flavored vinegar. Last year at my favorite farmer’s market, the artisanal vinegar shop put out a big cooler of water with peach balsamic vinegar in it. Changed my life! For real. When you pour flavored vinegar in a LaCroix, it feels enough like pouring booze and your key lime LaCroix gets some of that vodka-like tang. It’s a win-win!

Vices. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.